I've known the Lord for 25+ years...And I keep feeling like I just met Him.
It seems like every couple days, I wander away from where I found Him the last time , becaues I have that "good, confident" feeling...I think I've found "it" and go on my merry way.
Then I feel horrible and exposed and sharp things stabbing into me on every side. So I go and find Him again...the place where He always is... where I found Him the last time. At His Cross.
IT's not an ugly or scary place. It only seems that way after you have left it. When you get there again, it's the most perfect place on Earth, or not on Earth. It's home. I think it's the place that we fit. The shape and grooves fit our souls, our bodies, our hearts.
I belong there. But in two days, or less, I will have forgotten again. I'll leave it because I feel safe...
I'll forget it's my freedom, my joy and the hug I'm always looking for.
The other day I told the Lord that I don't think I know Jesus. He's more foreign to me than an actual foreigner. I don't know who He is or what He does...and I certainly don't understand Him.
But instruction has been pretty clear lately-look to the Cross. Go to the Cross. Pay attention. The Cross and Jesus are inseparable.
Again, known the Lord for a long while. And I'm just now learning to know Jesus the way He wants to be known. I'm just learning about love, and to love. That Jesus and His Cross ARE love. That that means I get to love people...I don't much like that many people...But Love wants love filling up the Earth. And He picked bratty me to be a part of it.
Thank you Jesus for the Cross. Thank you Jesus for teaching me these things, over and over...for helping to know you.
