"What would you do if you weren't afraid?"
We immediately jump to the big thing, the huge goals we would accomplish! This used to be my favorite thing to do. I would take on huge mountains. Sometimes it'd be the fight of my life, and sometimes, it would all go very smoothly. I became unafraid. I think that's the goal. But I wasn't unafraid because of the Lord. I was just good at it.
Let's take it back a few steps. Let's leave the mountains with our names on them to conquer. Walk a little ways away...have a seat in your favorite chair. Close your eyes. Breathe... Let the Lord come near you and share some space with you.
What would you do if you weren't afraid?
I would breathe easy if I weren't afraid.
The thing I am most afraid of is being in the same place next year that I am now. By place, I mean, same location spiritually, emotionally, in maturity, marriage, communication, relationships, so on.
And so if I weren't afraid, I would breathe...I would sleep, I would trust God.
The glimpses I get in the Spirit now are more often small and simple things than huge, glorious things. If I were not afraid, I would let things stay simple. I would let things stay in God's hands, in His time and I would breathe my breaths with Him. I would live with Him...and there would be life.
I'm very good at being a human. Humans make things more complicated than they were ever meant to be. We put so many rules of everything that exists or could exist. I had expectations, rules, and goals for this week on vacation. SO I struggle against that, because I think the time was granted so I could learn to breathe.
I find myself lately struggling to be myself again, like I did in junior high. Hopefully this is all just another layer, hopefully several, of the onion being peeled away and I will see God in this land...When we can trust ourselves and our abilities, the land is no good. I think that's what the past year has been rich with...digging up this ground that's been plowed and plowed to death. And digging where I haven't before. Striking that hard ground, hard as cement. Until it gives. The heart must be starting to give, because there's been a surge of striking the cement to find the earth under it.
Sitting and breathing and learning with the Lord to be unafraid won't mean you never get another mountain to conquer. It just means He takes you there, and it's not about the mountain with your name on it. It's life with Him, your breaths with Him.
