I had an idea this morning on the way to work. There is a lot of books and articles and teachings out there about how men are supposed to treat women. It’s amazing! Men are to pursue us, even after they have “obtained” us. They are to give us adventure, invite us into theirs, and so on…it’s truly beautiful how much more there is about this in recent days. I’m truly thankful that I live in times like this. Women are more and more being considered equal with men. As for Jim and I we approach marriage as a team work thing. I believe he is the head of the home, but we do life TOGETHER. I don’t shut up and follow. And I don’t believe for one second that he would be happy if I did. But he also does not try to dominate or control me or our life. We respect each other. And along with love and communication growing through the years, the respect does and needs to grow as well.
But my idea was about how women can treat men. I grew up with a very very outspoken mother. This helped me become a woman who knew how to fight for what I want and love; and to not take a backseat to anyone, man or woman. But she also taught me and talked a lot about how to treat a future husband. Anyone who knows my dad, knows he loves my mom and daily, DAILY, dies for her. I have not just heard this, I have SEEN it.
I believe he lives this love toward my mom because he’s a good, honorable man, but also because of what my mom has laid down her life to bring into his. I heard and witnessed that women have the power-and I do mean power-to make men into Kings or babies. I want to make my husband a King.
As much as men ought to pursue we women, and shower us with romance, and communication, and numerous tokens of love; women are to build up and shower their husbands with affirmation and praise. If you ask me. Women have the ability to build their home or tear it down. I have been married almost five and a half years. What kind of house am I building? I want a strong house. A beautiful house. A fun house. A house full of adventure.
One of the biggest issues for men is strenghth. I am not an old person, but I am not a young person either. I have seen a lot in the years I’ve been on the planet. What I have witnessed in many marriages, relationships, men and families is that men are either truly strong, or try to dominate because they are too weak to lead. True strength is the ability to set someone free and not hold them back. To set someone you love up for success; that is leadership, that is authority, THAT is strength!
I feel that my father set me free when I was young. He never held me back. Any limtations I ever had or accepted were never from him. I now have a wonderful husband who sets me free every day. I don’t think either of us started this cycle, of building each other up, encouraging each other to go after our dreams, and so on. I think it’s just something that neither of us has ever stopped. We fight to stay strong for the other; to push each other to things that if the other were to see success, it would honestly be a little scary. He encourages me and helps me remember I have dreams and ambitions and I can’t let them lay while I live like a victim. And in return, I want him to have every single thing his heart desires! All the things that I don’t understand and that sometimes seem impossible. I just don’t care! He must have every opportunity to claim his passions. I want his real strenth every day. I want him to be him, and nothing else. I think a man’s true strength can be kind of frightening. I think my true strength is terrifying
too. God is scary and wild and super unpredictable. I want my husband to be free to be likewise.
Ladies, we need to be humble and build our husbands up. No matter what the cost to our self esteem or our time or emotions. Every little thing you have spent so much of your time day dreaming about or imagining will not come the way you want it if you do not pour out some love. The rule of marriage is not that only the man demonstrates love. They need our respect. So show respect. Demonstrate it. Publicly agree and praise. I know it doesn’t feel as though it will be refected on you, but how could it not. Build up the man in your life and he will raise you up with him. That is how it works. That is what love does. That is what our hands, hearts and words do. The opposite is also true. And I believe that to be a very very somber warning. Don’t tear your home down to sticks. Look at the man you love, the man you chose and build into his heart, his mind, his dreams and future.
